Happy Mothers day, it’s the best and most rewarding job you will ever have!
Every year I celebrate the day with a photo with my daughter, and this year we get to add my newborn to the tradition.
I know I should probably use this opportunity to celebrate my own mother, but we’ve had a very strained relationship over the years which has recently come to a head.
So I wish I could gloat about what a wonderful mother I have, but sadly that is not the case. Instead I will use this time to celebrate all of the wonderful mothers that I have had the pleasure of knowing and the mothers that are reading this post. Slightly tired and mostly under appreciated throughout the year, but proud none the less.
You do what you can because you can and because you are mum, you don’t need a day to make you special because your children make you special.
Wether their babies, children or grown ups they will always need you and there love will shine through even in the darkest times. Because now you will never be alone, you will always be loved and cherished. Have a wonderful Mothers Day you deserve it. xxxx
And the award for lazy parenting goes to, Mad Mummy Marshall. That’s how I’ve felt over the past few months. I’ve seriously dropped the ball when it comes to mainly everything, but it’s easy done when your waddling like a penguin and struggling to move due to SPD. And having to charge round after a 3 year old is tough, I really commend those parents that have three or more children, I really don’t know how you do it!
I spent most of my third trimester when I wasn’t working sitting on my bum recovering from working and plopping my daughter in front of the TV.
I would suggest putting on a film and snuggling on the sofa and within minutes we would both be asleep in the early afternoon. But she soon got wise to it and would demand to go to soft play and the day I relented I was seriously punished. It wasn’t just the moving around that was difficult but the fact that I physically couldn’t fit or manoeuvre around the complex was a big factor. At one point I had to rely on a stranger to get my daughter when she had bumped her head and was crying for me, that was tough!
So after that day I decided swimming, or should I say bopping around the pool was a better choice of past time.
But at home it was just easy to put the tv on so I could shut my eyes for half an hour.
Than baby came and not much changed, I was still tired and tv was still an easy option. Deep down I knew it was becoming a problem, so the day I decided to make a change I wasn’t suprised when my daughter looked at me with shock and demanded to know why she couldn’t watch TV.
It had become normal, which had always been a worry for me. I’m the mother that used to restrict tv to an hour a day and now the tv had become a constant norm. Now a month later we have cracked it, she rarely asked to watch it and her toys are getting the use they deserve as toys.
It wasn’t even that difficult to be honest it was just the case of breaking habit and distracting.
The first thing I did was join her to the library and made a point of going every week. I also arranged play dates with her friends and lunch dates with mine. We’ve been so busy she doesn’t get much of a chance to watch TV and when we are home we either do crafts or she asks me to read her books. When the TV has been on she’s even asked to turn it off, I’m one very proud mad mummy and I finally feel in control.
But at times I still feel slightly guilty when she wants me to play and I’m saying in a minute cause I’m feeding the baby or changing nappies, it seems to be my catch phrase at the moment.
I know we all have those moments where we think we could do better as parents, but the important thing is that we know when we have to do better and try and do what we can.
Well despite me feeling slightly normal and regaining parts of my identity, I was reminded this week that my hormones are still in full control! This week we attended our last week of baby group and it got quite emotional, not because it was our last group, but it was the question we were asked. what are you enjoying most about your baby? Well in true mad mummy fashion I added that being off work was what I was enjoying most, now to be honest that was just a joke. I am enjoying not being at work, until the three year old is asking me the same question over and over and over and over again.
But taking it in seriously and really thinking about the question, it’s always been one thing I’ve enjoyed most about both of my children and that is the gaze. Breastfeeding was very natural for me with my first daughter and I was lucky my daughter took to it so easily. The second time however was not so easy and I’ve always said if it was my first child I may not have continued. But what spured me on through the difficulties was the gaze of my new born, her big eyes taking me in.
Her happy and content face and that loving and lingering look in her big blue eyes!
My first child would not take a bottle no matter how hard we tried but my new born is happy to take my milk from me or a bottle. But this has come with mixed emotions for me, I was going to have more freedom but at what cost, I felt like I had lost a little bit of my exclusivity. However I’ve got over it and every time I put her to my breast nothing else matters. Explaining this to the group brought tears to my eyes because this is my last child and the time goes so quickly.
Recalling to the group the memory of my first child got me so emotional as I realised how special those moments were to me and watching her running around in her usual crazy fashion I knew that she had no recollection of that time. She didn’t remember and it was gut wrenching, it was then I was reassured that it was those moments that made our close bond, that made her so confident and secure.
So Wether I’m breastfeeding or bottle feeding I will hold every moment close to my heart and always remember. I’ll never forget the glare of wonder and comfort and the beautiful sounds of my baby suckling and wimpering and I’ll always remember that question. What are you enjoying most about your baby?
The one thing I say to any one with children is it’s never too early to put together a craft box.
Our craft box naturally formed over time, but there were times I had to make special trips to the shop for specific items. You can buy craft sets and boxes and they are great to get you started. But here I’ll show you what you may need to add to your own craft box, a few must have items that you won’t buy at the shops and I guarantee will be required at some point in your toddler/child creative play times.
Here is a list of items pictured above
● Any non toxic glue ie. PVA and glue stick
● Paint, obvious must have, but don’t get sucked in by all the fancy colours you can buy. Start with prime colours as you can have fun teaching them how to make their own colours. Although silver is a good colour to have just in case you want to make a robot and I’m sure you will.
● Various coloured paper, card, foam and Crete paper. You can never really have enough. I’ve run out on several occasions, I have a child that puts one line on a piece of paper and wants a new bit.
● You’ll get into a habit of recycling bottles and pots, you’ll never look at a yoghurt tub without thinking about how you can craft it up. Just make sure to give them a good clean.
● Play doh, I can’t quite remember when my daughter was able to play with Play doh without the fear of her ingesting it. But I do remember being surprised when her nursery worker told me she had been playing with it without incident. After that we always had Play doh despite the mess it leaves as I don’t think any child can manage not to get it all over the floor.
● Ink, I have used this many times and find it useful to have not sure if it’s a must have.
● Pipe cleaner and pom-pom balls of various sizes
● Sticky googly eyes, craft box essential.
● String, this is just a handy house hold item. I have needed it for all sorts.
● And the old favourite toilet roll tube or any tube is handy.
There are some other must have craft items that are not pictured because we simply ran out, just goes to show how often we use them. Here is a list of our most used.
● Paper plates, inexpensive and you can pick up 50 for a £1 at your local £1 shop.
● lollypop wooden sticks and skewer sticks.
● Plastic cups, pick them up with your paper plates.
● Various pasta shapes.
Our craft box ended up turning into a craft cupboard and as we’ve recently moved a dumping ground for all creative tools. I really need to give it a good sorting out.
You can see how our craft box turned into a cupboard. So what’s in your craft box? Do you think I’ve missed anything?
Wow thank you so much Wee Mah for the nomination. I’m a bit of a blogging novice so was unsure of the blogging etiquette when being nominated. So please bare with me, I apologise if I miss anything.
So here are my seven facts about me,
1. I once recorded a song for Howard Marks ‘Mr Nice’
2. I am an Artist/Photographer,
3. I started working on the market when I was 13 years old, selling clothes.
4. I’ve been with my husband since I was 18, around 18 years, crazy long but it’s crazy love.
5. I also work as an Area Trainer delivering work based qualifications and functional skills for a company called First4skills.
6. I once did an advert on the QVC channel for a singing fish.
7. I love scary movies.
So now it’s your turn, I nominate
1.Mrs Brown’s Girl
2.The Green House
3.Lessons in the Art of Dad
4.Leah and two
6.Ginger and Bell
7.I am Mum
8.Mama P and Little Me
9.Mummy do it
10.A new Mum without a Manual
HOW IT WORKS
Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
Share 7 facts about yourself and nominate 10 bloggers for the award.
Well done everyone, your all doing a great job!
I’m actually starting to feel more myself this week. I treated myself to a new coat and some boots and getting up in the morning and doing my hair doesn’t actually feel like a chore anymore. I’ve actually gained some of my identity back. I’m still a little tired and dealing with the affliction of leaky boobs. But I don’t feel so battered and bruised.
I’ve also noticed that the pity looks that mothers with newborns get are few and far between when you look like you had time to brush your hair and put on concealer. And you know what I mean by pity looks or you could call them I don’t envy you, your completely mad, I wouldn’t do that again looks. But I may look slightly polished on the outside but the truth remains, I still take my makeup off with wetwipes, that fancy SPF skin cream I used to use has been replaced with coco butter and this long fancy red coat I’m rocking is hiding the leaking baby milk and baby sick stains.
I’m along way off from feeling fantastic but I’m much happier looking in the mirror and seeing me again.
I will always be a mother and that will always be part of my identity, however it’s equally as important to feel like I’m more than just a mother.
Blogging also helps with this, I’ve always been that person that has to be doing something, has to be working towards something. So now that my baby is 9 weeks old and I’m getting a little bit more sleep, I can be me a little bit more. Not just that tired looking mum with the dishevelled hair at the school gates.
Don’t get me wrong I still have days where I have to where a hat because I simply don’t have time to do both my hair and makeup. But I’ve not left the house without makeup since 1995 and I’m not going to start now.
But despite my appearance I’m still feeling a little bit down on myself, I suffer from Psoriasis and since I was 36 weeks pregnant it’s gotten worse and worse. So the past 9 weeks I’ve felt tired, flabby and scabby to top it all off.
So despite losing 13lbs in the last 9 weeks I’m still a little flabby and a lot scabby but I’m definitely going to make the most of having more sleep, even if I do spend more awake time making myself look pretty.
When did you start to feel more yourself after childbirth?
So it’s been 5 weeks now since I started walking and 2 weeks since I decided to step it up a gear and eat healthier. I think I’m being quite pro-active about reaching my goals and there’s not many people that know me that don’t know what I’m working towards at the moment.
So I’m asking myself this week why does my husband keep coming home with sweet treats and I’m not talking about a small bar of chocolate. He must have gone to the shop and said “show me your biggest bar of chocolate” and than bought 2, melted them down and made his own custom monster chocolate bar.It really was that big!
He then brought home a box of 12 Krispy creme doughnuts and a tub of hagan dàz icecream. The big question is did I eat it all? Well before I answer that I have to tell you about my response to my husband. Of course I did let him know how dissapointed I was but he knows I’m more dissapointed with my own willpower. As he puts it “just because it’s there it doesn’t mean you have to eat it”
But we all know it doesn’t work like that, does it?
So after I chowed down on some naughty snacks this week we had to have a talk.
Inbetween the chocolate and the doughnuts the guilt crept in but that didn’t stop me going in for the icecream and I could tell my husband was amused by my mental anguish. So we finaly talked and he now understands just how much he needs to support me and how he can support me. You would think with all the effort I’m putting in that he would have understood but what I learned here is communication is absolutely key.
It also doesn’t help that all I can think about is the looming half term and what I’m going to do without my routine. I’m so used to walking, I mean I’ve walked 144miles so far, so I don’t want to take a break and get lazy. I’m learning a lot about myself and the main thing is I like routines and so does my body. Being consistant is the key so my darling husband bring me fruit and flowers if you want to treat me and leave the giant size chocolate bars at the shops!