Finding Me


I’m actually starting to feel more myself this week. I treated myself to a new coat and some boots and getting up in the morning and doing my hair doesn’t actually feel like a chore anymore. I’ve actually gained some of my identity back. I’m still a little tired and dealing with the affliction of leaky boobs. But I don’t feel so battered and bruised.
I’ve also noticed that the pity looks that mothers with newborns get are few and far between when you look like you had time to brush your hair and put on concealer. And you know what I mean by pity looks or you could call them I don’t envy you, your completely mad, I wouldn’t do that again looks. But I may look slightly polished on the outside but the truth remains, I still take my makeup off with wetwipes, that fancy SPF skin cream I used to use has been replaced with coco butter and this long fancy red coat I’m rocking is hiding the leaking baby milk and baby sick stains.
I’m along way off from feeling fantastic but I’m much happier looking in the mirror and seeing me again.

I will always be a mother and that will always be part of my identity, however it’s equally as important to feel like I’m more than just a mother.
Blogging also helps with this, I’ve always been that person that has to be doing something, has to be working towards something. So now that my baby is 9 weeks old and I’m getting a little bit more sleep, I can be me a little bit more. Not just that tired looking mum with the dishevelled hair at the school gates.
Don’t get me wrong I still have days where I have to where a hat because I simply don’t have time to do both my hair and makeup. But I’ve not left the house without makeup since 1995 and I’m not going to start now.
But despite my appearance I’m still feeling a little bit down on myself, I suffer from Psoriasis and since I was 36 weeks pregnant it’s gotten worse and worse. So the past 9 weeks I’ve felt tired, flabby and scabby to top it all off.
So despite losing 13lbs in the last 9 weeks I’m still a little flabby and a lot scabby but I’m definitely going to make the most of having more sleep, even if I do spend more awake time making myself look pretty.
When did you start to feel more yourself after childbirth?